Lady Katnip
The genie in the bong
(cannabis expert)
"I just love me some Canna-chemistry, canna-physics and grooming my kitty"
Philosophy: "Lay across my big brass bed"
Lady Katnip (Amy Jennings) wasn’t always a genie in a bong, as she is known today. In 2700 BC she was residing in China when she fell in love with an Emperor that would change her life forever, Shennong. Through a special herb he introduced her to, they both fell into a deep passionate connection. The people of China rejected the westerner Lady Katnip and the only way they could be together is if Shennong could find a way to hide her. On a dark night as the people started an uprising in order to obliterate Lady Katnip, the emperor order his shaman to transform her into a magical being, in order to protect her from the raging crowd. Lady Katnip agreed, as she could not imagine leaving his side for their passion was so strong. After ingesting a strong edible made by the shaman and then sharing a smoke with her lover she was whipped into the bong and hidden from inevitable slaughter.
Shennong and Lady K. lived a secret life from then on. Lady K used new gifted intellect and vision to help the Emperor introduce cannabis into Chinese crops, which then turned him back into favor among his people.
After Shennong’s death, Lady K’s dwelling was passed as a gift for centuries to various world leaders. All the while none of them knowing a brilliant and beautiful genie lived inside. Until one day while sailing on a ship towards the Americas, a man name Christopher Columbus, who had been given the gift as an offering to new lands by the Spanish king, started polishing the beautiful glass. Lady K was once again summoned. She assisted Christopher in negotiations with the new people he came across and offered him suggestions for crops he might add to the new world by giving him cannabis seeds to share. Knowing that a genie would be a coveted possession, Christopher told no one of his discovery. Upon Christopher’s death, Lady K’s dwelling was once again passed from leader to leader as only a trincat of beauty.
It wasn’t until 1796 when one of our countries fore-fathers George Washington was handed the bong that our lady once again emerged when he tried scraping off several centuries of dirt. Using her years of solitude for study, Lady Katnip had become well versed in the medicinal and agricultural uses of the hemp plant. She worked with George as he cultivated the plants and by the following year he had hemp as his primary crop.
But again he also knew that revealing this genie could be detrimental to both her and him. So George never told a soul of his prize possession and good friend Lady Katnip.
Several centuries later, in a church basement, the bong had been placed by a cardinal who had no use for items of envy. The church opened the basement doors for a weekend cleaning sale and in walked our hero, Smooch. He took one look at the dusty old bong and knew it was something special. After paying $2, he ran home to smoke a fresh bowl out of his new piece. He sat alone, loaded the bowl and then rubbed it 3 times for good luck-poof, Lady Katnip appeared. Smooch now found a confidant who could put into words what he couldn’t and knew things he needed to know. Lady Katnip now had a new home, a new purpose and peace fell over her as she finally felt she would be able to share her knowledge with the world and not just a single world leader.
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